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Wakum Mata!
Politcally Incorrect Musings
Political Dictionary 
21st-Mar-2006 12:53 pm
CAD

Republican-to-English dictionary for those who've been having
trouble recently in deciphering speeches and news reports:

* alternative energy sources /n./ New locations to drill for gas and oil.

* bankruptcy /n./ A means of escaping debt available to corporations
but not to poor people.

* "burning bush" /n./ A biblical allusion to the response of the
President of the United States, when asked a question by a journalist
who has not been paid to inquire about non-issues.

* Cheney, Dick /n./ The greater of two evils.

* class warfare /n./ Any attempt to raise the minimum wage.

* climate change /n./ Progress toward the blessed day when the red
states are swallowed by the oceans.

* compassionate conservatism /n./ Poignant concern for the very wealthy.

* creation science /n./ Pseudo-science that claims George W. Bush's
resemblance to a chimpanzee is totally coincidental.

* DeLay, Tom /n./ Past tense of De Lie.

* extraordinary rendition /n./ Outsourcing torture.

* faith /n./ The belief that the Beatitudes (statements made by JC)
include "Blessed are the rich" and "Blessed are the warmakers."

* free markets /n./ Halliburton no-bid contracts at taxpayer expense.

* girly-men /n./ Males who neglect opportunities to grope unwilling women.

* God /n./ Senior presidential adviser.

* growth /n./ 1. The justification for tax cuts for the rich. 2. What
happens to the national debt when policy is made according to Definition 1.

* healthy forest /n./ No tree left behind.

* honesty /n./ Lies told in simple declarative sentences (e.g., "Freedom
is on the march.").

* House of Representatives /n./ Exclusive club; entry fee: $1 million to
$5 million (See: Senate).

* insanity /n./ See: staying the course.

* laziness /n./ When the poor are not working.

* leisure time /n./ When the wealthy are not working.

* liberal(s) /n./ Followers of the Antichrist.

* No Child Left Behind /riff./ 1. There are always jobs in the military.

* ownership society /n./ 1. A civilization where 1 percent of the
population controls 90 percent of the wealth. 2. A political system in
which all power is in the hands of the owners.

* Patriot Act /n./ 1. Pre-emptive strike on American freedoms to prevent
the terrorists from destroying them first. 2. The elimination of one of
the reasons why they hate us.

* pro-life /adj./ Valuing human life up until birth.

* Senate /n./ Exclusive club; entry fee: $10 million to $30 million.

* simplify /v./ To cut the taxes of Republican donors.

* staying the course /interj./slang./ Continuing to perform the same
actions and expecting different results (See: insanity).

* stuff happens /interj./slang./ I don't have to live in Baghdad.

* voter fraud /n./ A significant minority turnout.

* woman /n./ 1. Person who can be trusted to raise a child but can't be
trusted to decide whether or not she wishes to have a child. 2. Person
who must have all decisions regarding her reproductive functions made by
men with whom she wouldn't want to have sex in the first place.


===================
Now, my rebuttal...
===================


Democrat-to-English dictionary for those who've been having
trouble recently in deciphering speeches and news reports:

* alternative energy sources /n./ Energy policies that reduce American global competitiveness and gouge the consumer.

* at-home mom /n./ 1. A caring woman who ensures that her children receive the best possible care and nurturing. 2. Woman who is denigrated by liberals for having the hardest job and does not receive a paycheck that can be taxed.

* bankruptcy /n./ The result of liberal policies set forth with no financial oversite.

* class warfare /n./ The result of the Democrat's social policies when trying to penalize success.

* climate change /n./ Progress toward the blessed day when the blue
states are swallowed by the oceans.

* Clinton, Hillary /n./ The greater of two evils and the Clinton that should have been investigated.

* compassionate conservatism /n./ Poignant concern for those needing assitance during financial hard times, even if they are Democrats.

* constitution /n./ Toiletpaper for Democrats.

* evolution, theory of /n./ Secular-science propaganda designed to eliminate faith or belief in any power greater than The State.

* extraordinary rendition /n./ 1. Prevention of terrorism by removing terrorists from their support base. 2. Switching parties from Democrat to Republican.

* faith /n./ The belief in a power greater than The State.

* free markets /n./ Government economic policy that supports capitalism and allows business to compete fairly by elimination of socialist agendas.

* girly-men /n./ The result of enacting policies requiring feminist-designed sensitivity training.

* God /n./ Senior presidential adviser.

* growth /n./ 1. What happens when the government cuts taxes. 2. What
happens to the Republican party when policy is made according to Definition 1.

* healthy forest /n./ Sustainable forest development and management as opposed to prevention of any clearing of deadwood, underbrush and diseased trees resulting in devestating fires.

* honesty /n./ The property of being truthful and not shared by major media or top ranked Democrats.

* House of Representatives /n./ Exclusive club due to the result of liberal policies restricting free speech; entry fee: $1 million to $5 million (See: Senate).

* insanity /n./ Pulling out of the Iraq war before stability and autonomy is achieved.

* laziness /n./ When the poor are not working.

* leisure time /n./ Time off deserved after working hard.

* liberal(s) /n./ Followers of the Antichrist.

* No Child Left Behind /riff./ 1. Educational policy to ensure that all US children have a complete and well rounded education and are not indoctrinated with socialist propaganda.

* ownership society /n./ An American public policy based on individual liberty, limited government, free markets and peaceful international relations as opposed to the Democrat vision of The State owning everything.

* Patriot Act /n./ 1. Pre-emptive strike on American enemies to prevent
the terrorists from destroying our freedoms. 2. The act of voting Republican.

* Pelosi, Nancy /n./ Hypocritical House Democrat Minority Leader that decries the contributions of Abramoff to Republicans while having taken money from Abramoff clients herself, according to FEC filings.

* pro-choice /adj./ Devaluing human life in favor of sexual freedom without consequence or responsibility.

* Senate /n./ Exclusive club due to the result of liberal policies restricting free speech; entry fee: $10 million to $30 million (See: Congress)

* simplify /v./ To cut the taxes of all persons and allow easier tax filing resulting in more tax revenue. This policy is at odds with the establishment of class warfare.

* staying the course /interj./slang./ Continuance of defending democracy and empowerment of people seeking freedom.

* stuff happens /interj./slang./ Excuse used by Democrats when caught molesting their interns.

* voter fraud /n./ A complaint by Democrats when the election results don't favor them.


Comments 
(Deleted comment)
21st-Mar-2006 11:04 pm (UTC)
Since when did I say I was politically correct? In fact, I advertise the obverse. You also missed the tag marked "humor".

But, you still prove a point. The Democrats don't want honest political discourse as their ideology does not withstand scrutiny. Their economic and social policies are based on fad science with a strong socialist agenda.

I received the "Republican Dictionary" in an email from a friend. This is my response.
21st-Mar-2006 11:47 pm (UTC) - true independent thought....... from a certain point of view ( this is a joke)
*republican (n) a person who sends the poor off to die defending the whims of the rich while not actually serving in any realistic capacity the society they live in


*democrat (n) see republican.... only with less white guys
21st-Mar-2006 11:55 pm (UTC) - Re: true independent thought....... from a certain point of view ( this is a joke)
LOL
(Deleted comment)
22nd-Mar-2006 03:48 pm (UTC)
:: takes olive branch and uses it to mix vodka [imported Russian potato] martini ::
22nd-Mar-2006 03:54 pm (UTC)
:: procedes to read The Federalist Papers ::
22nd-Mar-2006 04:59 pm (UTC)
That sort of Tucker Carlson-esque entertainment politics only diminishes us. (See torgolomue's post below to witness the result)

Excuse me? So because I point out a SERIOUS failure in the party system, you instantly right off my points as invalid. Thank you. I think you have made Markov's points even MORE valid.
22nd-Mar-2006 12:09 am (UTC)
The only difference between Democrats and Republicans is which ticket they sign onto when it comes time to run for re-election. They are both rich, selfserving, egomeniacal bullies who claim to do things for the "people" when we all know the only "people" they care about is whomever fills their campaign coffers and their overstuffed pockets. Of course there are exceptions to this rule, but they are few and far between.
22nd-Mar-2006 03:49 pm (UTC)
The general rule I aply to political candidates, is "never vote for anyone running for office - they are the least qualified."
22nd-Mar-2006 04:55 pm (UTC)
AMEN, kinda like the saying that the right person for the job is the one who wants it least.
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