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Wakum Mata!
Politcally Incorrect Musings
Emotional dump 
1st-Dec-2005 08:15 am
southpark
Two more days.

Friday, tomorrow, is my last day. Monday I will be officially unemployed. It is not a good feeling. I have had a tightness in my chest and in the pit of my stomach for the last couple of days. This is compounded by the fact that I heard this morning that a friend of mine in Austin, TX just got put on administrative leave while Dell restructures. He is in sales. Poor Avery. That news just partially reopened my old wound of when Dell laid me off.

The uncertantity created by a layoff is what is hard. You had a paycheck and now you don't. You have bills to pay and can't afford COBRA. A pregnant wife and young child were depending on you and somehow you have let them down (through no fault of my own - my company speaks well of me). Then there is the shame of being on unemployment and having to use foodstamps. Certainly, I am entitled to it and this is exactly what it is for. I *will* apply for it. But it is a slap in the face that I have not achieved the degree of financial independance and self sufficiency that I should have at my age.

I don't realistically expect to hear from any employers until after 18 December. That is when the vote on the Defense Appropriations Act is supposed to happen. DoD contractor companies will have a better idea of their future funding then. I just need to suck it up and soldier on until then.

My plans for next week are to go walking with my daughter each day, study my C++, VHDL, and FPGA programming, look for work, and watch lighthearted and funny movies. Oh, there are also house maintenance things to do: seal cracks, weeds, paint, and cleaning. Not necessarily in that order. It is important to keep a schedule, set goals, and stay busy in times like these.

I'll be living on my computer for a while so feel free to IM me. I'll probably be there.
Comments 
1st-Dec-2005 05:32 pm (UTC)
Honey we have been there too. And you are in our thoughts and prayers every single day.

1st-Dec-2005 08:00 pm (UTC)
I love you Mark! It will be okay and I will be here for you if you need me. Gods know you've been here plenty for me. All the kisses and hugs you can handle coming your way over the ether, dahlin!
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