A friend asked me about my employment. I told my friend "The Ministry of Sporks. I am a tine counter!" Hey... it's a job. Spork regulation is a must! I have had to reject a number of spork designs featuring only one tine. Folks, a spork with one tine is called a "spoon". I have to refer them to the Ministry of Useful Cutlery and Table Settings.
I didn't mention that I also moonlight for Killjoy, LTD. as a party disorganizer.