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Politcally Incorrect Musings
World's Oldest Sex Toy 
18th-May-2010 10:38 am
Prehistoric siltstone phallus, the world's oldest sex toy, was also used as tool to ignite fires

By Rosemary Black

Monday, May 17th 2010, 12:42 PM

Courtesy of University of Tubing

The world's oldest sex toy was more than just a feel-good aid. The 30,000-year-old siltstone phallus doubled as a tool to ignite fires.

The racy relic was found in a cave in Germany and is being studied at the University of Tubingen there, according to Independent Online.


The prehistoric phallus, which has marks where it was obviously used for striking against flints, also features carved rings around one polished end. Researchers say it's easy to see what it was used for. [...]


Here's the scene: Thog goes off to kill a woolly mammoth. Thog's wife ... she... well... she keeps the home fires burning.

Seriously though... Sex toy? Maybe. But could it be polished smooth by simple frequent use as a fire starter? The rings could have been made to prevent the tool from slipping in the hand. Until I see greater evidence of "dual use", this object is simply a fire starter and nothing more. This picture alone, suggestive as it is, is not enough for determination.
18th-May-2010 05:50 pm (UTC)
Just because it could be that doesn't mean it is. Doesn't really mean it isn't either, if it's the right shape. People will look at almost anything and think of SOMETHING to do with it that may not be what it's intended for.
18th-May-2010 06:18 pm (UTC)

Maybe the groove is for tying a thong around so you can wear the fire starter like a necklace.

... or it is ribbed for her pleasure.

We just don't know and I think the scientists may be jumping to conclusions. I'll wait for the peer reviewed publication. What seems to be undisputed is that it was used to start fires.

Edited at 2010-05-18 06:19 pm (UTC)
18th-May-2010 07:38 pm (UTC)
Even sex toys can be put to other uses. I read something in the TMI LJ about someone who's disgusting little sister hooked her Pokeman toy up to a vibrating dildo to keep the points up. She actually had to try more than one to get the appropriate motion to simulate walking, which is what you're supposed to do with it.
19th-May-2010 04:22 am (UTC) - Oh Come one. ITS A SeX TOY!
Anonymous coward
Would you go out of your way to sand your tool down to such a perfect shape and texture if you were just going to use it to start fires? I think not.

That is DEFINITELY a dildo, my friend. Women in the past needed it just as much as you wank it, my friend.
19th-May-2010 09:38 pm (UTC) - Re: Oh Come one. ITS A SeX TOY!
Polished for the same reason we sand smooth the handles on hammers.

Is a handle to a spatula a phallic shape? Yes. Is it generally smooth? Yes. Is there a bit of texture to prevent slipping? Yes. Is it a dildo? No.

I am not discounting the possibility that it may be toy with dual use, just that it should not be the first conclusion that it is that simply due to its shape.
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