Did you know there is a large German-speaking population in Texas? One of these was a rancher walking down a country road who noticed a man using his right hand to drink water from the rancher's stock pond.
The rancher shouted: " Sehr angenehm! Trink das wasser nicht. Die kuhen haben dahin gesheissen." Which means: ("Glad to meet you! Don't drink the water. The cows have sh*t in it.")
The man shouted back: "I'm from New York and just down here campaigning for Obama's health care plan. I can't understand you. Please speak in English."
The rancher replied: "Use both hands. You'll get more."